But, before you use these books, you need to know the definition of bullying, which consists of these three parts

• The behavior is intended to harm or disturb, or the individual targets feels harmed, disturbed or embarrassed.

• The behavior occurs repeatedly and over time. (It can’t just happen once.)

• There is an imbalance of power (power based on size, age, social status, wealth, intelligence, appearance, wardrobe, just to name a few).

The old stereotypical bullying event usually contained a big kid standing over a little kid saying, “Give me your lunch money” If we look at the above definition, it is easy to see that the behavior is intended to cause harm, the little kid would not get lunch and possibly be humiliated publicly, That alone would not make it bullying, but it usually happens several times a week, and the imbalance of power seen in the size difference between a big kid and a small kid is obvious.

Name-calling, the most common form of bullying in children and adults, can be heard on school playgrounds or in middle school and high school hallways or in the workplace. The words hurt and are heard often, and are usually delivered by a person with power over the target.  Most people who are called names don’t tell anyone because they are embarrassed.

If two students who are friends have an argument that ends up in name-calling—that probably will not be bullying. They will resolve the conflict and continue the friendship. The words may have been intended to harm, but the event happened in one setting and between two equals.

Most people still believe the many myths about bullying.

• The bully usually has a poor self-concept—MYTH. The Elitist Bully or Social Climber Bully spends so much time thinking about him/herself, there isn’t any time left to think about others.

• Bullying will make the targeted child stronger—MYTH. Bullying can destroy lives. The word bullycide (also bullicide), being bullied to the point where killing oneself is the only perceived escape, has been added to our language. The web site www.bullyonline.org has a memorial page that lists children and teens that have lost their lives because of bullying.

New research on bullying tells us that this problem is not going away. Those of us who work with children of all ages need to educate ourselves.  For far too long school staffs have been correctly accused of doing nothing. THAT IS NO LONGER AN OPTION. Start by reading a book with your class so that you can encourage a discussion before you have to discipline the problem. Keep a list of these books available so when you hear a kid is having a problem you can share that book. Literature has always been a bridge, and these books can help targeted students, confused bystanders and even active bullies cross to a healthier place.
 

Latest Finds...

August / September, 2008

Crossover by Jeff Rud,

Kyle was involved in theater until high school when he switched his passion to basketball. Now as a junior he has made the starting line, but after he earns a lead in the fall production of "Oliver," he comes up against time conflicts, an angry coach, team homophobia and his guilt for abandoning a valued friend because of his own insecurities. This book is good for looking at one's responsibility to doing the right thing, even when that is difficult. For Middle School and High School. Victoria: Orca Sports, 2008.

In the Garage by Alma Fullerton

The book opens with BJ (Barbara Jean) standing at Alex's funeral trying to understand how they got to this place. They had been friends since third grade when the new kid, Alex had rescued her from the bullies. The rest of the book is told through BJ's flashbacks and Alex's journal. BJ is harassed because of the birthmark over one side of her face and Alex because of a homophobic former friend. This is a very strong book, in content, structure and language, the poetry of Alex's journal is beautiful. For Middle School and High School. Calgary, Canada: Red Deer Press, 2006.